I’m not a working bee. I’m resigned to my laziness, embrace it, see it as a way to spotlight my brains. This idea that I should trade time for money is ridiculous, not because I dislike money, mind you, but because I don’t understand why we absolutely have to work hard to get it. I think working hard is a lie. We’re conditioned to be guilt-ridden when we don’t sweat to the last breath, but what we really do is waste energy. We’re meant to waste energy, of course, as containers of energy, but there’s the perversion of using it in such a time-consuming, blindly-obedient way that repulses me. Perhaps that’s how I’ve rationalized an equivalency with laziness to a romanticized valiant defiance, which, truth be told, could be me fooling myself. My self-deceptions have M.C. Escher-like layers. But nonetheless, I feel breaking away from the Matrix has only left me in a destitute wilderness — it’s no fun to be free when everyone else’s isn’t or doesn’t want to be.

It turns out my philosophy of smarter-not-harder is fairly unpopular.

I try to explain it in metaphors. “Why run, when you can drive?” “Using a blender will cut the same amount of apples in half the time.” Then, I resort to just flat out telling them that I make exactly the same amount of money now being a lazy self-employed person as I did when I was an overworked, underpaid cubicle rat. But the horror slowly chilled upon me that people just didn’t feel like their energy is worth doing anything else. People love the idea of being free until the door is opened and they’d prefer imprisonment. They’re afraid to use their minds and utilize their independence; they’ve been shamed for even considering it.

Of course, the irony of embracing laziness is that I’m half-assed in making them try something smarter and happier. I mask it under the guise of “respecting their choices” or “I’m sure you have your reasons”, but the truth of the matter is people fight change, especially ideas that’re not their own. Making them see things neutrally and logically is wasted energy and I’d rather waste my energy parasurfing in Hawaii.

This is Year 8 of my laziness. It didn’t start out well and there’re brief moments of weakness where I ran back to an overworked, underpaid job. It feels weird, like discovering a portal between dimensions yet feeling too guilty to dive in. I find very few who understand it. I never knew freedom could be such a destitute wasteland.