The Mama Guilt

May 14th, 2019 Blog Entry Louis Leung 5 min read

All my life I’d wished my mother was someone else. We want love to be easy, that the people we love do noble things or have admirable talents. My mom is neither moral or bright. Her life philosophy is dependency. She hates to learn and thinks the worst of people. Whatever the feminist ideal – strong, independent, sassy – my mom’s the opposite. I’d spent…

My Kindness is Not a Weakness

Apr 13th, 2019 Blog Entry Louis Leung 3 min read

I’ve often been called a pussy. It’s usually from the same crowd who use words like “cuck” and “alpha”. Because I don’t scream my feelings out, especially in a way that demeans people, I’ve also been labeled as dishonest or passive-aggressive. Half the country mistook a narcissist with no filter and made him president. They said that particular personality type was “refreshing” and “strong”. People…

In My Past Life I Was a Cat

Feb 12th, 2019 Blog Entry Louis Leung 3 min read

I believe in reincarnation. Well, maybe. I hope it’s true anyway. It would explain a lot of things; it’d explain me. I hate authority; like hate it. If it were my way, the sun would come up when I’d want it to come up. I have a low tolerance of people telling me what to do, even if they’re right. I want to be a…

Why I Stopped Believing in Jesus

Jan 22nd, 2019 Blog Entry Louis Leung 4 min read

My first novel, Cody Quan, is the polar opposite of my second novel, Asians Don’t Date. I say polar opposite because when one writes books, they’re either in the soul-searching category or the commercialized category. Cody Quan’s the former. It’s amateurish, all over the place, there’s a billion characters and I wouldn’t want it as my writing’s prime representation. But books are like children; I…

Being Last Place

Jan 8th, 2019 Blog Entry Louis Leung 2 min read

All my life I started last. Last to be picked for kickball. Last chair in band. Last to get a raise. Understanding me is to understand what it feels like to always start last, to be in a world where no one believed in you. It’s a disconcerting feeling, this default decision from others that you aren’t their vision of a winner. Most people will…